Hooters Calendar Girls Crazy Eights

I’m too old and too jaded to get all giddy over pics of girls in bikinis… don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t mind them! …but when Oasys Mobile posted their demo video on iPhone App Index, I knew I had to give it a try. I’ve reviewed apps that fart, vomit, and pop zits, so there’s no way my inner adolescent would let me get away with NOT reviewing this one. :P

My memories of playing Crazy Eights when I was little are pretty vague so it was nice to see that this app comes with instructions on how the game is played. It’s not rocket science, but even with simple card games it’s always helpful to have some idea of what you’re supposed to do. The basic idea of the game is to get rid of your cards before other players do, and you get rid of them by laying down cards that match the rank or suit of whatever’s on top of the pile of cards in the middle, and of course eights are Crazy and can be laid down anytime. First one to dump all of his cards is awarded points equal to the total of the other players’ cards, and in traditional gameplay you keep going until someone hits 200.

Hooters Crazy Eights is easy to play… to drop a card in the middle, just swipe your finger upwards and the card flies onto the stack. Each card has a different Hooters Girl on it, and if you haven’t already committed each of the oiled-up, surgically-enhanced ladies to memory, you can tap the card in the middle to get a good, close look at her in all her near-naked glory. This can be done regardless of whether the last card was laid down by you or your computerized opponents.

If you’re short on time there are a couple of game variants called Quick Play and Time Attack to help move things along, and there’s also a card options screen where you can mix things up by changing a few of the rules.

Overall this is a pretty slick app and it’s clear that Oasys Mobile takes their craft seriously. The graphics and sound quality are both really good, card animation is smooth, and generally speaking Hooters is a complete package. And yes, the girls featured on the cards are mostly hot! The majority seem to be blonde cheerleader-types and nearly all of them look like they’re sporting plastic floatation devices where their boobs used to be, but if you’re like most guys and don’t give a crap then the models definitely won’t disappoint.

As usual, though, I do have a few minor grievances to air. For starters, the high score board is local only. I know Crazy Eights isn’t exactly the stuff that global competitions are made of, but I’ve come to believe that nearly every iPhone game should have a global scoreboard. Also, the in-game scoreboard… the one that tells you how many points each player has scored in between rounds… is a little hard to decipher, meaning that if you’re not paying close attention you may not know which score is yours and how far you are from being crowned Crazy Eights Champ.

Two-player or multi-player ability would also be nice to see, but if you’re playing solely for the purpose of enjoying the company of some Hooters Girls you probably won’t care about competing with other humans. The app also crashed on me twice during my three or four games… it was nice enough to let me resume where I left off, but the folks at Oasys might want to look into that.

So is $2.99 a fair asking price? Ehh… I’d say it’s pretty close. Apps that come with this kind of gloss usually don’t sell for a buck, and in most respects it really is a well-done card game. Aforementioned gripes aside, my other Big Idea for Oasys to consider is the release of a man-meat version for the ladies! See that, girls? I’m not just here to ogle. I’m looking out for you, too.

BTW… I know the YouTube videos overlap on the new javascript image galleries. Don’t worry, you can just scroll the video out of the way! The images will stay in place while the rest of the page moves.

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