Hot Dog Down a Hallway

Ok… I have no idea what the developers at Metaversal Studios are smoking… but I WANT SOME!! Hot Dog Down a Hallway is a hilarious game that would totally be #1 if Obscure Sexual Innuendo were an App Store category. If you’re unfamiliar with the hotdog expression… ummmm… I think I’ll let Urban Dictionary do the explaining!

Getting back to Hot Dog, it’s a surprisingly fun game where your goal is to launch a hotdog as far down a hallway as possible. First you have to “poke a pig” (literally), preferably when the adjacent meat grinder is at maximum power, and after the pig leaps into the grinder a very happy-looking sausage comes flying out. How far down the hallway your weiner goes is, in my estimation, 90% luck and 10% skill, but it’s still a funny and addicting way to pass some time.

As  your hot dog flies through the air you can tilt your iPhone to the right for clockwise (forward) rotation, or tilt left to spin backwards and try to slow things down a bit. What really determines the length of your hot dog’s journey, though, is what lies in its path upon being launched from the meat grinder. It’s always the same stuff… crabs (yeah, sorry), rubber tree plants, table fans… but the arrangement of the stuff appears to be pretty random. On one launch you may only go 20 feet before your flying sausage gets snipped into pieces by a crab or it could go several hundred feet if you manage to bounce off a few plants and catch a few fan breezes.

Along the way there are also chandeliers that provide a speed boost if you can manage to hit them way up there on the ceiling, and flying into a latex rubber thing (it’s a “glove”, wink wink) will protect the sausage from one crab encounter. If your glove winds up in a crab’s claw, it’s done its job… but, just like in real life, “gloves” can’t be reused.

To add to the excitement, there’s also a long list of semi-dirty-sounding “achievements” that get checked off a list each time your stunt weiner does something nutty like hitting two gloves or riding three chandeliers.

Hot Dog Down a Hallway lacks a global scoreboard and disobeys the iPod, two faults that I wish weren’t so common, and my only other criticism is that the app gets kind of laggy if you play too long without restarting. Even so, this app is fun, it’s funny, and some would even call it addicting. If some crude humor is ok in your book, go ahead and spend the buck! It’s worth it just to see the hot dog lying on the floor and gasping for air after the flight comes to an end (seriously, it gasps for air!).

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