Finally! Apple has thrown open the floodgates. Say yes to one “fart” app and you say yes to all of them. Let’s take a look at two of the most promising players in the appalling and newly-minted Fart genre.
First of all, kudos to InfoMedia, Inc. on choosing toilet paper as their App Store icon. What else would they choose? A skid mark? An ass with lines coming out of the crack? They know not to push their luck with the uptight guardians of the App Store, so toilet paper is a safe and smart choice.
iFart Mobile – Fart Machine for All Ages delivers 20 farts that range from quick toots (”Butt Socket”) to longer marathon farts (”The Wipe Out”). Some of the farts, such as Poker Dealer and Splatter, sound very similar, but there are still enough different kinds of farts to keep you, your family, your coworkers, and every stranger you meet thoroughly entertained.
The real strength of iFart Mobile is in its Sneak Attack mode. Sneak Attack allows you to set a timer at the end of which your ass bomb will explode and, hopefully, everyone within earshot will either laugh ’til they cry or panic and evacuate the room. This feature works just fine when the iPhone is unlocked and the timer is visible, but the app claims you can lock your iPhone’s screen which isn’t entirely true. When locked, Sneak Attack tends to either go off after a longer delay than planned or it just fails entirely until you unlock. This bug isn’t crucial to having fun with iFart, but it could ruin a carefully orchestrated prank and leave you looking like the one who should be embarassed.
There’s also a Security Fart mode that will sound a fart alarm when someone moves your iPhone and a random fart when you tap “I’m feeling lucky”.
Pull My Finger is the fart machine everyone’s been talking about ever since it got rejected by the App Store a couple months ago. I signed the online petition and even sent Steve Jobs an email begging him to order his App Store goons to allow Air-O-Matic’s masterpiece, and now that the Pro-Fart lobby has prevailed I can’t help but feel a swelling sense of pride every time I rip one into my jeans.
iFart Mobile has the edge in features, but there’s something to be said for Air-O-Matic’s artistic creativity. Pull My Finger doesn’t have a Sneak Attack or Security Fart, but it’s got some hilarious artwork that reminds us all that everyone needs to cut some serious cheese from time to time. It doesn’t matter if you’re a blushing bride, a treehugging weirdo, or a super-hip hiphop star… buttcracks just don’t care. And when you know the dam’s gonna burst, the best thing to do is put out a finger to be pulled before the real joke slips out.
Pull My Finger comes with a random fart function just like iFart, and it also includes a Chorus mode that will play every fart in succession until you make it stop. Don’t be surprised if you see Bart Simpson armed with this app while he commandeers Springfield Elementary’s PA system in a future episode! I firmly believe that’s exactly what Chorus mode was built for, and a medal should be awarded to the first real-life child (or adult?) to successfully pull off this feat.
My one beef with Pull My Finger is that it insists on accompanying a lot of farts with vibration. I totally get the metaphor, but Fart Purists like myself need to be able to turn this option off.
So which one should you buy, iFart Mobile or Pull My Finger? That’s a tough one because both are great Fart Machines in their own right. I’d say the quality of the fart sounds between each app is pretty close with the edge going to Pull My Finger for a better and more disgusting variety. iFart’s Sneak Attack is great even despite the locked-iPhone flaw, and even though iFart’s “hazard” theme is funny I still say Pull My Finger dominates in the Style category.
If you could see yourself using Sneak Attack often and with success, get iFart. It’s a hilarious idea, kind of like a high-tech whoopee cushion, and could really embarass the crap out of your unsuspecting victims.
On the other hand, if running Sneak Attack farts doesn’t appeal to you, get Pull My Finger. The artwork is great, the fart variety is a little better, and if you let the Chorus mode run long enough you’ll have everyone in the room in tears, even the guy with an actual flatulence problem… although he might be crying for a different reason.
A lot of fart imitators are undoubtedly building their me-too apps at this very moment but, much like the Great Flashlight Flood of August 2008, it will be the pioneering development houses who reign supreme. Whether you choose iFart or Pull My Finger you really can’t go wrong and I have no doubt in my mind that it’ll be one of the best dollars you’ll ever spend in your life.