Wingman by Mind, Matter, and Meaning is kind of like your best friend after about 20 beers… great to laugh about, but not something you’d actually want to rely on for emergency date help. It’s really more of a conversation piece.

There are two sections in Wingman: I’m Staying! and Escape! The escape part is a stripped down fake caller that you can set to ring after a delay of 10 seconds to 10 minutes. There aren’t any options, it just pops up an “incoming call” from some guy named Charles Kennedy and reverts back to the red Escape! screen when you tap anywhere on the graphic to stop the ringing. To paraphrase the Commissioner of The More Taste League, this half-assed fake call could introduce you into a very uncool sit-choo if your date catches you trying to ditch her this way! Again, conversation piece. Don’t actually try to use it.

The other section, I’m Staying!, tries to do everything from making you sound smart to making you sound like a complete jackass. It has a list of Hot Topics which are headlines (no stories) grabbed from an AP news feed, Conversation Starters which is a list of completely random interview questions, Fun Date Ideas which sound like they were lifted directly from a magazine rack, and Pickup Lines which kind of speak for themselves.

I can already imagine some poor sap retreating to the men’s room to frantically memorize a few Conversation Starters before heading back to the table to try and woo his way up a girl’s skirt, and of course he’s completely oblivious to the fact that the girl is way out of his league and only going out with him for free food… oh crap, I just described every date I’ve ever been on… ok seriously folks, don’t do this!! If you truly need your iPhone to salvage a date, you’ve got problems that a phone just ain’t gonna solve.

But I’ll say it one last time: Wingman is a conversation piece, and not a bad one at that. Bust it out and show the lady that you must really be into her because you’re NOT hitting the Emergency Escape Call button, and then laugh at some of the horrifyingly-bad pickup lines. I think Conversation Starters also have a small kernel of potential in them depending on how they’re used, but Hot Topics and Fun Date Ideas can go straight in the garbage unless you actually know a cop who’s enough of an idiot to fake-arrest a girl for stealing your heart. Uh, yeah, that’s what I thought!

Is Wingman worth $.99? Well, if you aspire to be like Neil Patrick Harris on that show “How I Met Your Mother”, then it’s probably worth $99.00. For everyone else, I’d say it just depends on how often you find yourself needing something to jumpstart a conversation.

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